daniela cuevas theoretical institute llc

sarah koenig’s voice / while i brush my teeth / telling me about another / wrongful conviction / another system / that failed / another person / who trusted / the wrong people / spit rinse / and wonder / who i’m trusting / with my attention / my time / my subconscious / absorption / of other people’s / traumas / as entertainment / as education / as company /

folding laundry / to ezra klein / explaining / late stage capitalism / while i sort / fast fashion / that i bought / on impulse / after listening to / a planet money episode / about consumer psychology / the irony / tastes like / fabric softener / and cognitive dissonance / tumble dry / on low heat / moral complexity /

true crime / puts me to sleep / because there’s something / soothing / about mysteries / solved / about chaos / contained / within / narrative structure / beginning middle end / unlike real life / unlike my own / unsolved questions / about who i am / when no one’s / listening / except these voices / i’ve invited / into my head / into my dreams /

walking to work / with today explained / in my ears / learning about / supply chain disruptions / while disrupting / my own thoughts / with facts / i’ll forget / by lunch / but the feeling / the anxiety / the sense / that everything / is connected / and breaking / simultaneously / that stays / metabolizes / into my posture / my pace / my inability / to just / walk / without / input /

shower thoughts / aren’t mine anymore / they belong to / this american life / to ira glass / asking the right questions / while i condition / my hair / and consider / whether i’m living / authentically / or performing / authenticity / for an audience / of zero / except these / disembodied voices / who know me / better than / i know myself /

ad break / for mattresses / i don’t need / beds i’ll never / afford / but suddenly / i’m on amazon / reading reviews / from strangers / about sleep quality / while listening to / maintenance phase / debunk / wellness culture / the same culture / selling me / optimization / through targeted ads / based on / my listening habits /

google tangent / because someone mentioned / a case / i don’t know / a victim / whose name / i need to see / spelled out / whose face / i need to match / to the voice / describing their / final moments / and now i’m / three wikipedia pages / deep / learning about / jurisdictional issues / in rural canada / while my coffee / gets cold /

everything is alive / makes me cry / in the produce section / because now / i’m thinking about / the consciousness / of shopping carts / of elevator buttons / of all the objects / that witness / our small desperate / attempts / at living / while i squeeze / avocados / and wonder / what they think / about ripeness / about time / about being / chosen /

you’re wrong about / corrects / everything / i thought / i knew / about anything / and i feel / both smarter / and more ignorant / simultaneously / like the more / i learn / the less / i understand / about the distance / between facts / and truth / between information / and wisdom / between knowing / and knowing / what to do / with knowing /

strict scrutiny / while doing dishes / constitutional law / mixed with / dish soap / and the strange / intimacy / of learning / about voting rights / while scrubbing / last night’s / takeout containers / the domestic / and the political / merging / until everything / feels / constitutional / even my / kitchen habits / my consumer choices / my right / to privacy / while listening /

fall asleep to / bear brook / wake up to / details about / barrel decomposition / that i didn’t / consciously hear / but absorbed / through osmosis / through the strange / permeability / of the unconscious / to narrative / to horror / to other people’s / nightmares / becoming / my dreams / my morning anxiety /

song exploder / between / serious content / because i need / to feel something / other than / informed dread / need melody / need the space / between words / but then / i feel guilty / for not / optimizing / this moment / for learning / for growth / for becoming / more knowledgeable / about systemic / failures / and personal / responsibility /

voices layer / upon voices / sarah and ira / and esther and ezra / and the anonymous / reddit confessions / and the expert interviews / and the ad copy / for things / i don’t need / creating a chorus / of other people’s / thoughts / other people’s / research / other people’s / carefully crafted / questions / while my own / questions / remain / unasked / unanswered / unformed / beneath / the constant / input / the endless / education / the beautiful / terrible / company / of voices / that know me / better than / silence / ever could